How My Father Lives On

My father passed away four years ago today, almost at this very hour. I was his care taker for two years after a stroke left him speech-challenged and reliant on me. My dad served in the United States Air Force during the Korean War and went on to be a commissioned landscape and commercial artist. Have you ever seen Dynapac construction equipment? He designed that logo in the 1980’s. You may have seen a lumber jack on a syrup bottle, too. That was his creation. But he loved landscape painting the most and had frequent art shows throughout the northeastern U.S.

I’ve had people tell me I’m a very strong woman, that I’m hard-working and full of courage. If any of that is true, it’s because of my dad, and God Who blessed me to be his daughter. The profound effect the love of a good father can have on his daughter cannot be overstated. His love gave me the confidence and sense of security to live a life with few regrets. Instead, I have lessons and realizations that everything in my life teaches me something, if I let it.

My dad is an artist. I say “is” because our loved ones and friends never really go away. They always exist and my dad still is who he is. Art is a big part of his essence and I am a photographer today because of him. I developed my love of photography through him and my love of nature through my mother. And now here I am today, living in Montana, one of the most beautiful states in the U.S. surrounded by both nature and photographable things.

I found this old black and white photo of my dad when I went through his storage unit after he passed away. It was hard to decide what to let go because it felt like I was letting go of him, and I couldn’t let that happen. But I kept a lot of the things he collected over the years and have his paintings on the walls in my own home. I keep this photo in my bedroom wall by my dresser. Besides my faith (and his) and the knowledge that I will be with him again, his paintings and photos of him are what keep him a central part of my life.

I am grateful. I’m grateful for such a good dad. I’m grateful that I got to spend the last two years of his life with him, and that I told him, “I love you, Dad,” just hours before he died. I’m grateful I was able to spend time with him just after he died, too, holding his hand, kissing his head and telling him what a blessing he is to me.

I’m also grateful that I have photographs like this to remind me every day of the wonderful man that he is. Here he is, in his element, reminding me of where I came and where I’m going. He is an integral part of my photography career, my womanhood and now, because of the creative genes he’s passed on to me, I can create moments for others.

I love you, Dad, and I miss you every minute of every day.